his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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