that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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