Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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