Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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