I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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