I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize