"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
