I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
