Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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