The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
