He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
FUCK WHALES
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
