whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize