Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
