the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
