apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
