every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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