No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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