I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
