If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
