she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
