You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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