like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When are your genitals available?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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