Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
