...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
