You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
