And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
