its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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