I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
