..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
