The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
