She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
