I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
