break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
