Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize