Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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