I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
