my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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