I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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