I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
