I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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