So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
