At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
