Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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