Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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