it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
