I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize