I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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