i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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