I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How does one acquire holy water?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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