just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
