The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
