i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
