i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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