Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
