I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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