sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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