this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
