half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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