$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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