What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
