I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
