im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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