I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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